The June Anderson Women's Center and Women for Women partnered last Wednesday to discuss the definition of feminism and how it could be related to the campus as a whole.

"[A feminist is] a person who supports the social, political, educational and economic equality of all people," said Angela Manivong and Phanita Khampakasy, members of the JAWC.

The focus of the discussion was for Manivong, Khampakasy and others to explore options for involving and informing the majority of students about feminism and deter the common stereotypes attached to the movement.

"A feminist could be anyone who believes in the equality of people," Khampakasy said. "It could be a woman, a man, a child or anyone else. It's not the stereotype that many people believe it is."

The main concept the groups want to encourage is feminism is not about one gender being better than another but both being equal, said Nicole Payne, member of Women for Women and senior liberal arts student.

In addition to holding monthly meetings, Women for Women is also planning various activities and publications to relate feminism to both the campus and community. Some activities include volunteering at the domestic violence shelter and doing arts and crafts with kids.

"We're putting together a [magazine]," Payne said. "It will be a collection of poems, pictures, recipes and rants."

The Women for Women meets on the last Tuesday of every month in the James Union Building.

i said that’s good i said that’s decent i said you gave it your best but the process was devoid of pleasure and the politics wrapped up in our patriarchal understanding of that which is good or decent or your best is not always accurate and i used to find your naivete charming and now i’m just sinking into the dent it left this small niche in the corner of my skin where the folds part to expose my misunderstanding of that which is good or decent or your best and i’m thinking in the same way that i speak sometimes stuttering and catching my breath before i say something too controversial before i think something i can’t bare to explain to a world so caught up in that which is good or decent or your best and i remember one day trying to catch up with my tongue my big talk and long words all smoothly laid out on your kitchen table and you challenged me to dissect and create something from that nothing talk something from those nothing words something that is good or decent or my best and i got to this place where volume was specifically intertwined with value and i heard your whispered words for the first time penetrating chasms i’d kept shut off for my own creative integrity and you were preparing to leave this which is ours the volume of everyday loving and my desperation hit a level that resounded throughout a body divided in fragments and when i caught my breath i said we’re good i said we’re decent i said we’re trying our best.

today spread out in front of me so glorious and i'm glad. i've been trying to move slowly and mindfully into these new life changes, being open and aware... i want to stop feeling such doubt and suspicion when there are beautiful opportunities presented to me. i understand where this learned behaviour came from, and want to do my best to honor it - and to release it. i no longer have to keep myself safe through these childish defense mechanisms. i am an adult now, empowered and ready to fly.

i met a shnauzer today named mickey, whose human gladly told me stories of the cockatoo he lives with - which apparently just adores mickey and follows him all over the house, much to his chagrin. he even perches on mickey's food bowl and eats with him. ah, what a wonderful image to start my day!

i went to global villages, the fair trade shop next door to my favorite (and fair trade) cafe, and found myself a new journal and marvelous mayan headband - they stretch and are so colorful and just the best thing for dreadlocks. i finally now have two, so i can be a bit more versatile in how i wear my hair..!

i ran into crystal at solstice cafe which melted me... she's so... just energy, all bright and glowing - so good and grounding to talk with. i told her that i'm moving into the pink house, her old household, and i invited her to visit often... i do wish she still lived there, because i'm convinced she'd be such a fun roommate. oh well. i devoured delicious vegan things and chris met us and we were joined by a friend of his, this gorgeous womon i've seen about town and have heard perform (singing/poetry) before that i just stare at breathlessly, and i got to meet her formerly... she's just as amazing as i guessed. she's pregnant, very early, and unsure of what to do - whether to abort or be a mama. her strength and openness astounded me, and she said it's what has been keeping her going... sharing with everyone and getting feedback, advice. i'm so glad she moves in our community, which is a plethora of never-ending support. we talked about the spiritual perspective and i reccomended she meditate on it and try to talk to that little seed in her belly, to see what it wants - whether or not now is the time for it's energy to enter into our realm.

tonight was a benefit for tre arrow with all money going towards his legal defense fund, so the cafe quickly became filled with familiar faces... and wow, so many people! i missed this city and these people who help sustain me. tre arrow was able to actually call the cafe from prison and offer us words and thank yous, and moise spoke to him (i didn't even know moise was in town!) and the sea stars (a group of extremely talented womon singers/beat-boxers/poets) performed for him... we all cheered and tried to offer up energy to help sustain him. three years in prison!! that is what you get for challenging the status quo and trying to protect and love our Mother Earth. the rest of the night included performances from tequila mockingbird (awesome to dance to) and auditory sensation (inspiring to hear). i love this city, this community, my friends, my home. so much positive action!

i am home now with tea and some classical in the background and pashmina keeping me warm. trying to sustain the good flow of energy. just keeping on.

so this is the thing: i'm a mess. i keep thinking of muddling thoughts, i mean of those words, because it seems to me my thoughts are that way - or really, they aren't; it's a judgement call (my judging my self). and i've been on the telephone with chris the last hour or so, which is very surprising considering my inherent distaste for telephones, but made even more interesting considering the fact that i essentially unloaded and talked about my self in a truer fashion than i have in a long time (i mean not that i am not truthful when talking of my self) in that i just talked without saying any of those baffling words which often spring from my mouth that i am fine and then my conversation ends, even when the very willing ears of my friends are scattered about.

i blame this on several things (nasty habit, my putting blame somewhere!)... okay well i feel the root of this exists in two places, one being my training as a counselor and experience working as one has lead me to naturally veer away from overly discussing, certainly in any lengthy or emotional context, my own life. whenever i am in a conversation with anyone, i tend to listen extensively - and when i talk it will be over any such thing but rarely my self, rarely at least my inner workings... not too much beyond the top of the emotional pile. and yet i am more than comfortable to talk for hours on my politics, explaining or emphasizing certain points to whomever will listen! so i guess it is the personal, and it's hypocritical indeed as i believe strongly the personal is political, and am always encouraging folks to speak their minds & hearts, to express express express - and i warn always of the dangers of keeping it all in. so why do i find it so hard to practice what i preach!? because that is truly what i believe... and i think today is the first day really where the realization decided to assault me: i don't talk about my feelings? nonesense! i'm always on about feelings! about communicating! how could i not talk about my feelings!? but it's been confirmed by others and in deep pondering of my depths that... really... i skim, shrug, skip, avoid, downplay, deny, and cast aside my own emotions, thoughts & feelings often enough - and i think i have not yet noticed this, because it is something i do in conversation... not in writing. in the letters i write, and my journal, i find i do express my self thoroughly... and in other ways, as well. but with people, friends in particular, it seems i am always most interested in their own inner workings while tactfully leaving mine out.

the other, more serious root, is my childhood and youth, which was spent drastically misunderstood by a system and society that i abhored for inexpressable reasons at the time... i had no language to eloquently articulate my disliking of the western medical methods of treatment, the way pharmaceutical medications are all tied up in big business and the patriarchal control of my "hysterical" rantings. being classified as mentally ill (and a gay woman, to boot) left me very much without a voice as a youth... i could not express my inner struggles, and the more i tried to say to doctors/family members/psychiatrists/etc, the more medication i was given or the longer i had to stay in an institution. i learned that my thoughts - my feelings, my emotions - were dangerous things to be hidden and well protected. my behaviour is learned and is one of pure self-preservation... bursting forth a butterfly out of that horror of a cocoon, a world of wards and pills and sterile patriarchal earth-disrespecting heterosexist bullshit, a world that i resisted with all my core being while still believing that my beliefs were somehow wrong (no, honey, trees do not talk and women shave their legs and there is no such thing as magick and take these pills now, that's a good girl) because everyone around me thought for certain i was crazy and no one expected for an instant that it was their goddamn system that was making me crazy in the first place.

so. yes. there it is: i keep my mouth shut because i was taught early on that my very survival depends upon it. i keep my mouth shut because i am afraid if i honestly expose my inner workings, my true emotions and deepest thoughts and feelings, that off to an institution i will be sent. these are some horrifying realizations to come to, all of these years later. but it is something now i can at least see, and a path i can wander down... self-expression in conversation. allowing my true inner emotions to be shared. it is a challenge to my self, oh my self, because now... now, this thing, this very thing of talking about my feelings - my very survival depends upon it.